Happy Everything

The holidays are quickly approaching and I just can't believe 2011 is almost over. I can't believe my little man will be 3 on New Year's Day, and I can't believe my twins are almost 7 months old. Time has flown faster than I have ever known before. We are all adjusting to our new life as a family of five, and I'm adjusting to living that life with minimal sleep and the new dark circles under my eyes.

Not that I keep up with posts on this blog, but I think I'm going to take a semi-permanent break from it. I'm sure I have some stragglers who check in on me once in a while, so I may post some random stuff every now and then. But for the most part I will not post that much. I literally don't have enough time in a day to get the stuff done that I need to, let alone have the luxury of sitting down to my computer to type in a sane manner. LOL. I still read other blogs so you just may get a comment from me on occasion, especially those with BIG things happening in their lives right now :)

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza, and a very happy and healthy New Year!! Hugs and Love xoxo

My Snowbabies

I knew this day would come sooner or later. The day when we have to decide what to do with our three remaining snowbabies. We have a few options: destroy them, donate them to science, donate them to a needing couple, keep them frozen.

We're not going to just keep them frozen. There are a few reasons for that...we do not want any more children. Three is enough for us. Plus, I cannot imagine going through another pregnancy with three kids already. I don't do pregnancy very well. I'm sure some of you remember how awful my morning sickness was.

So we can either donate them to one of two options, or destroy them. If you would have asked me before I ever had a child I would have said immediately that I'd donate them to another needing couple. I'm having a hard time with that decision right now. I now know the personalities of three (out of the nearly 50 embryos) children that I gave birth to. I can't imagine one of my little ones out there in the world without me to love and protect him/her. I certainly know they could end up with a family that loves them equally as much, but what if they don't?? What if someone causes them harm? A day wouldn't go by without me thinking about them and worrying where they are and who they have become. I would love to hear your opinions on this as we need to make our decision soon and I'm still torn as to what the best decision is for us.

A glimpse of our summer

It's been quite some time since I posted last so I thought I should write a little update. In most recent news, we had the twins baptized two weekends ago. It was just my family at the Baptism, so it was very personal. Another good thing about it being just my family was that I wasn't too embarrassed when EJ started running around (he literally ran around the entire church...like ten times...screaming and having a ball). My brother and his wife are godparents to Jillian; Ed's sister and her husband are godparents to Jacob. My other brother and his wife are EJ's godparents so they were there as well, along with our parents. It was the day after Hurricane Irene so a lot of our family and friends couldn't make it to the party, but that just meant more cake for me :) Here we are...I'm holding EJ with his t-rex c.rocs on...

The rest of our summer has been pretty good. With the help of my parents and SIL we get through each day and everyone gets dressed and fed. LOL. EJ spent a lot of time swimming, which he loves, and hanging out with his favorite cousins. Jillian is sleeping between 8-10 hours every night. Jake usually wakes once or twice, but I'm still able to feel well-rested most mornings. My days are busy. VERY busy. My weeks fly by and I wish it would all slow down a bit. I'm eager to get to the STTN phase for both twins, but at the same time I don't want to rush things too much. EJ starts "pre-school" next week. It's just two hours one day a week, but I think it will be good for him. I can't wait to see all the wonderful artwork he brings home to hang on the fridge. Hopefully it won't be another 3 months before I update again :D

Sleep (or lack of)

Haven't had much of it lately. At least not more than 30 minutes at a time.
Desperately need some. My eyes have never been so droopy.
Just an hour to two of solid sleep would do me a world of good.
Can't seem to put two thoughts together or concentrate on anything. I must seem like a space cadet to anyone talking to me.

We're all doing ok!!

There hasn't been as much sleep as I'd like, but we're all hanging in there :) The twins are great eaters, and pretty good sleepers. However, they're not totally on the same schedule so we're awake often through the night nursing/giving bottles. I don't feel as exhausted as I did with EJ; I guess I've gotten used to running on limited sleep. I really don't know how well we would have handled having the twins before our singleton, so I'm glad it worked out the way it did with them coming after EJ.

Someone asked me if either Jake or Jillian has their Daddy's eyes (in regards to the title of this blog)...well, without a doubt Jillian does. It's so neat to look at them looking at each other with the exact same shape of eyes. It will be interesting to see in a few months if she has the same color as he has too.

I wish I had more time to take pictures, but I snap one whenever I can with my cell phone. Here's one with Jake on the left and Jillian on the right. Oh, and we've taken to calling her "Jilly" which really seems to make EJ giggle :)

The Twins are here!!!

I don't have much time to type, so here are the basics...

The twins arrived on Thursday May 12th, which is their Daddy's birthday :)

Jillian Lyn - 8:14am - 5lbs 1oz, 18.25inches
Jacob Francis - 8:16am - 6lbs 3oz, 19.5 inches

They're doing great...no time was needed in the NICU!!!!! I'll post pics as soon as I load them to my computer.

EJ is doing fantastic with them. He hugs them and gets upset if they cry...such a good protector already :)

Full Term - WE MADE IT!!!

I'm am beyond-words-excited that our little twins made it to full term...36 weeks as of yesterday! I was told at the very beginning of this pregnancy that 50% of twins don't make it this far, so we were certainly preparing for them to come before today.

I had a growth scan on Thursday and Jillian (back to loving that name) was measuring small at 4lbs 7oz which is under the 10th percentile. Jake is 5lbs 7oz and growing very well. EJ was delivered at 5lbs 6oz so it seems they're similar in size at this point. The doctor recommended that we deliver this week to give Jillian the best chance to thrive on her own in the outside world. If we make it until then, I'll have my repeat c-section on Thursday May 12th, which just so happens to be my wonderful husband's birthday too :)

The doctor also ordered twice weekly NST's so I went for another one this past Friday. The protein in my urine was at +2 and I'm officially dealing with pre-eclampsia (just like with EJ). My peri said my bloodwork didn't come back "perfect" but levels weren't "alarming" either. I will go for another tomorrow (Monday) and then take it day by day until Thursday. We want to give the little girl as much of a chance as possible to reach 5lbs at the time of birth. Apparently that is the magic number for the NICU as well as the car seat limit. Come on little girl...GROW!!!!!

L&D #5...aka The Girl Who Cried Wolf

First off, today is my 33rd birthday. Happy Birthday to me :D

I went for a mani and pedi this morning, then out to lunch, and finally took a nice long nap. That nap was needed after last night...

I started having consistent contractions around 6pm. I timed them for over an hour and I had once every 4-6 minutes. I called my peri and she had me head to L&D...this could be it! I got all hooked up to the monitors and the babies sounded great and we could see my contractions coming quickly. They weren't very intense, but they were constant. My regular appt was that afternoon and I was dilated to 1cm, and I was the same in L&D that evening. So after two hours of being monitored, and no change in my cervix, I was sent home. What a let down. We really thought that was going to be it and my twins could be delivered on my birthday. Oh well.

They're doing great and I can't believe how far I've made it in this pregnancy! My blood pressure has been great, and no protein in my urine. Looks like we may get a few more weeks before their arrival.

Oh, and we have a date set...if they don't come before then, my c-section is set for Tuesday, May 24th. I love having a date in my head as my "due date" and know that is the longest I'll have to hold on to the twins. They are getting heavier every day and I literally feel every ounce they gain. My body is not my own and my stomach often looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket, each going a different direction. Haha. I've gained almost 40lbs at this point and my belly is measuring 55cm (should only be 34cm with a singleton). As my husband so eloquently put it, I am "ridiculously huge". Thanks babe, I appreciate that. LOL.

33w 3d - belly pic

So it's a good thing I have seen the babies on ultrasound or else I would swear I was carrying a hippo!!!



This is what I looked like with EJ at 33 weeks.

L&D Trip #4 at 33 weeks

This time my trip to L&D was a bit more serious, but I'm still pregnant so all is good...

Thursday night around 11:30 I started having some contractions. My pain level was around a 4, which is the most painful they've been so far. After two or three I realized that they were kind of close together so I started timing them. They were only TEN minutes apart and very regular. The intensity/pain would vary but it was a constant every ten minute event. This went on for a few hours. I kept debating whether or not I should call the doctor. Some didn't seem so bad, and it was the middle of the night, so I put it off as long as I could hoping they'd slow down.

It turned 3:30 and it was still every ten minutes, and the pain was growing so I caved and called my peri. I got the answering service, but my doctor called me back in like three minutes. I explained it all to her and she told me to get my tush in there. I called my Mom to take me to the hospital (Ed stayed home with a sleeping EJ because he had to work on Friday). I really figured it would be like my normal trips and they'd monitor me for an hour and then send me home.

It was actually a bit different.

As soon as they hooked me up we could see the twins had great heart rates and movements (I was feeling them move all along so I wasn't worried about that). My contractions were actually more frequent than I even felt and a lot strong in intensity. The arcs on the graphs were at the top of the screen and coming every few minutes. They gave me an IV, had me pee in a cup and drew blood. I was there for about three hours when my tests came back normal and my contractions grew farther apart and less intense. Apparently I was dehydrated so I've been ordered to drink 3 liters of water a day. YIKES. How many times will I pee if I drink that much?!? Haha.

My Mom and I got home around 7:30 am and we were both exhausted. I hadn't slept a wink all night. I spent the day relaxing, but I was still contracting and in some pain. We're praying our little twinfants stay put for at least two more weeks (3-4 is ideal) but we're starting to see that might not happen. I've been switched from Lovenox to Heparin as one more preparation/precaution in case I go preterm.

Every day I stay pregnant is a great thing so we're living one day at a time now and I'm resting as much as I possibly can so my body doesn't go into labor any sooner than necessary.

32w 3d - NST

My NST took almost three hours today. It took soooo long to get both babies on the monitors at the same time, and then stay on for half an hour. In the end, they both look awesome and I'll go back for another NST next week.

I also had an appt with my peri this morning. She told me they won't let me go any longer than 38 weeks so that means I have only 5 and half weeks left to go. I think we're all ready with baby gear, so now I just have to wrap my head around the fact that I'll be bringing TWO babies home (Yes, I've been PG for months and yet it still amazes me that I'm carrying twins).

EJ has no idea how much his life it about to change. He is my little rockstar and I will do everything in my power for him to stay as happy a little guy as he is :)

32-week Growth Scan

This is going to be short and sweet...

The twins are doing awesome. Madelyn is up to 3lbs 10oz and Jake is 4lbs 3oz. They are only 14% apart in weight so they're both thriving :)

I start weekly NST's tomorrow and I'm praying my blood pressure behaves!!!!

L&D Trip #3 at 31 weeks

Just when I think things are going smoothly, I end up in L&D for a few hours.

Yesterday afternoon around 4pm I started feeling some contractions. There was no pain with them, but they were every 10-15 minutes for about two hours. Ed finally said it was time to call my peri. After describing the feelings to her, she told me to head straight to the hospital. They kept me hooked up to the monitors for a few hours and saw that I was having small contractions every few minutes (more than I even felt). The babies looked great - awesome heart rates and lots of movement. I was checked and my cervix is not dialated, and it's long and posterior. Since there was no dilation, I was sent home with orders to take it easy even more than I already am (I'm already on modified bedrest).

I'm praying we make it five more weeks so we can hopefully avoid a stay in the NICU. I'm getting very worried that we may not make it that far. My hospital bag is packed but I hope it gets a nice layer of dust sitting in the corner of my bedroom before we need it. LOL.

L&D Trip #2

Friday night turned out to be more eventful than I originally had planned. Around 3pm I started having a horrible pain in my lower abdomen. I also had a lot of pressure behind my pelvic bone and seriously thought the twins were coming then. Ed was at work so I called my Mom to get a ride to the hospital. I could barely stand, let alone drive a car. My Dad was off that day so he took me while my Mom stayed home with a napping EJ. Ed was in the lobby by the time we arrived and he wheeled me up to Labor & Delivery.

They immediately hooked me up and got great heartbeats and movements from both twins. I wasn't contracting either. The pain was from something else. It took my breath away it was so bad. They did a bunch of blood work to rule out many things (including an abruption and appendicitis). They finally gave me a shot of morphine and in 20 minutes the pain was subsiding and my head was very woozy. This was almost 7pm so I had been in that pain for about 3 hours. I was exhausted. They wanted to keep an eye on me so I spent the night there. The morphine helped me get one of the best night's sleep I'd had in months :) I had a few contractions during my stay, but nothing worrisome so I went home first thing in the morning.

I'm now on modified bed rest. I get an hour in the morning to wash and dress myself and EJ and get us breakfast. I should then be a couch potato as much of the day as I can. My Mom and SIL are around a lot to help with EJ and let me rest with my feet up. I'm also supposed to stay strictly on the couch after dinner when Ed is home. It's difficult, but I'm so tired most of the time that I don't put up too much of a fight. LOL. I get out of breath very easily and the twins are SO heavy in my belly that it's exhausting to walk around too much.

Hopefully the next two months will be calm and they continue to grow as well as they have been so far.

27w 6d - Growth Scan

I had another growth scan yesterday and the twins are doing really well. Madelyn (we changed our minds from Jillian to Madelyn) is 2lbs 6oz (50%) and Jake is 3lbs (75%). Most times you hear of twins who are born so tiny so it's reassuring to hear our little girl is right on track and our boy is so big. Now, if they'll just bake long enough to keep that growth going! It's crazy to think their total weight (5lbs 6oz) is what EJ was born at. With the added weight of an extra placenta and other stuff, no wonder my belly has been feeling so HEAVY lately!

It's hard to explain just how tired I've been. Exhausted. Physically wiped out. My body wants to turn itself off after dinner. Ed has been great at taking over all EJ duties when he gets home from work. That gives me a chance to put my (swollen) feet up and rest a little while.

We're getting the cribs put together and the room decorated, but it's going a bit slowly since I can't do much at once. I also want to get my hospital bag packed just in case. I waited too long to do that with EJ and I rushed to pack my bag after an NST that confirmed I'd go in for an induction that night. I don't want to be that unprepared this time. Being in control and preparing for the twins is helping me keep sane. I can't do much of the actual physical stuff, so if I'm organized enough with my lists, Ed can get done all that is necessary. I can't wait to have my body back - I HATE not being able to do things for myself.

L&D Trip #1

Late Friday afternoon I started having a bit of pain/pressure in the lower left side of my abdomen. The feeling would come and go, but it wasn't like a contraction. It lasted for an hour or so and when Ed got home from work he made me call my peri. She had me head straight to L&D so I could have a non-stress test (NST). I had a bunch of them with EJ so I knew what to expect. They hooked me up and found both babies' heartbeats right away.

Everything looked great with the babies and they confirmed I wasn't contracting. They tested my urine and said there were some good things and some bad things: tiny bit of protein, red and white blood cell counts were appropriate, and I think she said there were some ketones (???). But all in all, it looked fine. We never really found out what was wrong, but I was relieved enough to know it wasn't the twins. The pain lasted on and off Friday night and it was totally gone when I woke up Saturday morning. Just one of those freaky things that caused some excitement on an otherwise boring Friday night. LOL.

26w 4d - Third Tri!!

Everything is still going smoothly with this pregnancy. I had a check-up with my peri yesterday and my blood pressure is awesome - 114/72. My weight is good (although I disagree lol). I've gained about 25 lbs so far (only 22lbs total with EJ). But my Dr is very happy with my progress :)

We're getting settled nicely into our new house. This weekend we'll put the twins' cribs together and get their room organized. I need to make a list of all the stuff we still need, but I've ordered the double stroller and another infant car seat. It's funny to think of everything I saved from EJ and yet since we're having twins I still need to get a second of a lot of things...crib mattress, bouncer for feedings, PINK blankets (yay!!!!), etc.

EJ is doing great. He still has no clue that babies are coming and I have no idea what he'll do when he sees them. He's never been around a small baby since he was one.

I still miss Jimmy every day. Life is certainly easier with one less body to keep after, but I still feel like a part of my family is missing :( I hope the sadness lessens over time.

I go a week from tomorrow for another growth scan, and then I think I'll start them every other week instead of once a month. My peri already started my appts every other week, and she said that may be once or twice until they move me to every week. It all depends on how well things continue to progress. I don't mind going in that often, it's just more difficult having to ask my Mom to watch him so often. Oh and my Dad is retiring at the end of this month so it will be wonderful to have them both around and eager to help. I really am lucky to have such great parents :) I don't know how I would handle all of this without them!

NBR: A sad day in my house

First let me say no to worry, the twins are doing great. We had my 24-week growth scan the other day and they're both growing perfectly! Jake is 1 lb 7 oz and Jillian is 1 lb 5 oz. They're only 8% in size apart and the Dr. likes to see anything below 20%. So they're awesome.

I'm so sad for another reason. We had to re-home our dog Jimmy. He has never been a fan of EJ and it's just getting worse as EJ is looking play more and more. It's something I've been thinking about for well over a year (when EJ started crawling after Jimmy) and lately it's become obvious that was the best choice for our family. There are so many factors that went into this and I'm too sad to talk about them now. As we speak, Ed is delivering Jimmy to his new home. It's a perfect fit and if I could have my pick of any family, they would be it. I found them through the Basenji Rescue that I used to volunteer and foster. I have thought long and hard about this decision and weighed all of our options. In the end, I want Jimmy to be happy and he deserves a life that he's excited about...not just hiding from a running toddler. Many many tears have been shed even though I know it's for the best.

I will always remember and love my sweat pea.

We moved!

The move was a catastrophe. We were supposed to go to settlement on Friday 1/28, but didn't make it until Wed. 2/2. The week in between we spent living at my parents' house. They didn't mind one bit (they loved having EJ there) but it was so so so stressful. We lived day by day wondering when settlement would be. There was a paperwork error that delayed things and nobody could tell us how long it would take to fix. And to add insult to injury, we were all sick. I started out sick, then got EJ sick, and then we got my Mom sick. It was terrible and we were all miserable for a few days.

But now we're all moved in and unpacking boxes every day. It's totally overwhelming how much stuff we own. Most of it could probably go to Goodwill, and it just might if the babies decide to come before we're all unpacked. LOL.

The twins are doing great. Moving around more and more each day. They seem to wake up just as I'm going to bed. It's so awesome to feel them moving around. EJ is doing well with adjusting to the new house. We've quickly settled into our old routines and he's found almost all of his toys, which makes him even happier. Jimmy is still adjusting. He's had a few accidents (but that could be because we don't have a fenced yard yet and he's not outside as much as he's used to).

All in all we survived the stress of moving so now life can continue on for us. Next step is to get the twins' room ready. I'm thinking they'll share a room in the beginning. If you have twins, or know someone who does, how did you handle their sleeping arrangements?

21w 3d

First off, my big ultrasound went awesome. My little ones are measuring perfectly (even a few days ahead). And our Jake is about 25mg heavier than Jillian (still going with those names for now). We also got re-confirmation that they are a boy and a girl, and we got a great under-the-butt shot of Jake which we should save to show his future wife. LOL.

I've been sick with the flu for five days now and I've been miserable. I haven't had any good drugs to take so I'm just kinda suffering through it. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm just praying EJ and Ed don't end up with it. I was super fortunate that my Mom and SIL watched EJ so much for me so I could rest.

Oh, and all this coughing has catapulted me into new territory...I now wear Depends. Yup, those pad/underwear things for older women who can't control their bladders. That is me. My little girl has set up camp on my bladder and there is no amount of kegel exercises I can do to hold the pee in while I'm in a coughing fit. I've given up trying, so I'm embracing Depends. They're a little uncomfortable, but they stay much drier than expected. No more changing pads/underwear/pants four times a day for me. :-/

We move this coming weekend, and Ed has done an amazing job packing up the whole house basically by himself. I can't wait to get settled as I'm tired of living out of boxes.

EJ got his first Big Boy Haircut the other day. He screamed bloody murder the whole time, but boy does he look handsome! I haven't gotten a good picture since I've been sick but I will post as soon as I do.

Hope you're all doing well :)

18w 6d

I can't believe how bad I've been at blogging this pregnancy (and about EJ and my life in general). It never ceases to amaze me how quickly times flies and how little I seem to get done (laundry, getting my haircut, anything really).

Let's see if I can recap:

We've sold our house and bought a new one. We haven't moved yet - that will be the weekend of Jan. 28/29/30. We found a bigger home to house our growing family, and let's just hope we can afford it all :)

This pregnancy is getting physically easier in some respects. I'm not nearly as nauseous (knock on wood) and the exhaustion has lightened up a bit. My belly is pretty big. I think I'm as big as I was at around 24 weeks with EJ. I can't believe I'm at the halfway point. I have my BIG ultrasound on Thursday 1/13. Even though we already know we're having a boy and a girl, it will still be exciting to see them. I'm praying all of their parts looks just as they should and that they cooperate so the u/s tech can get all the proper measurements.

EJ turned TWO on New Year's Day. I cannot fathom how he's been with me for two years already. And yet, I can't imagine what my life was like without him. He's handsome and hilarious and he loves me more than anything...well, except Oreos. Haha.

I think that's it in a nutshell. I will post after my u/s on Thursday and hopefully I'll have some good pictures to share too. And speaking of the twins...what do you all think of the names Jacob and Jillian? Their full names would be Jacob Edward (DH is Ed) and Jillian Lynne (My Mom is Lynda). What do you think of the J and J thing??? And is it silly that they'd be "Jake and Jill". Haha - just things family/friends have pointed out to me.

Here is a picture of them taken on 12/20. Our little man is on the left and our girl is on the right. Sorry it's not a great photo. I took a picture of the u/s with my phone.