Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Trying to cope.

So it was a week ago yesterday that I found out I would m/c. I'm still bleeding and cramping. Of course, I'm very sad too. I cry at the drop of a hat. My DH has been wonderful...bringing me flowers, making dinner, doing the dishes, doing laundry, everything. He's amazing and is trying his best to keep my spirits up. He's even been watching Dancing with the Stars with me...which he HATES to watch. It's great to have such a support when I'm so down. He always seems to know just when I need a nice cup of hot chocoate too, I couldn't ask for a sweeter husband :-)

I went to my RE yesterday and my u/s showed that my uterus has pretty much cleaned itself out. I still have a lining so I should expect to bleed for a few more days...oh what fun. I got my b/w results this moring and my hCG is now 1,333 (down from 66,000 last Monday). We're heading in the right direction but I'm guessing it will still be another week until it's down to zero. That just means I should expect AF to arrive a week later than I had thought. And that pushes my FET back to mid-December. I know it's not an awful amount of time but the thought of going through that during the Christmas season gives me mixed emotions.

First off, I had my IUI then last year that gave me my first ever BFP. It was an AWESOME Christmas. Maybe those great Christmas vibes will be with me again this year?? But then I had my first m/c over New Years...that blew. So if this FET doesn't work around Christmas this year I fear I will be forever jaded. And Christmas if my favorite time of the year. I'm like my Mom, we go nuts during the holiday season. We love to decorate, bake and visit all of our family. Well, hopefully my positive attitude during the holiday season will help me keep the stress at bay so my little one(s) can stick!!

Phew, that went on a bit too long. If you're still here, thanks for reading all of that! LOL.


Tracy said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish you the best in your future FET...

We're the same way over the holidays. Wouldn't it be nice to have that extra something to celebrate?

orodemniades said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.