Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I am not alone.

I often feel that my DH doesn't think about our IF problems nearly as much as I do. Well, I know he doesn't. But he took me off guard this morning with an email. It just made me tear up at my desk. Partly b/c of how bad I feel about our situation, partly b/c I hate for him to feel sad, and partly b/c I know I'm not alone, and that even makes me sad.

This was his email:
"Just been thinking a lot about our “situation” and for some reason it’s really bumming me out.
I read an article in Field and Stream about a guy and his dad. Just their relationship and how it was rocky when he was young, and how through hunting together they found a common ground and that kept them from drifting apart as the son grew up. Just reminded me of me and my dad and how we always fish together. Kinda just bummed me out, that I may or may not have anyone I can teach how to fish. "

I think we are all guilty of leaving our DH's out of the situations we face. We feel that we need to carry the burden on our own. And since we are physically going through it all, then they don't really "get it" as much. But we have to realize they are very much part of what is going on and they deal with their sorrows in their own way. I know my DH wants so desperately to "fix" everything and it kills him that he can't. He wants more than anything for me to have our baby and his heart aches for me that he can't make that happen. And today I realize (I'm sure I've known all along) that there are things in his life that he would miss out on too if we are not blessed with a child. I think we have a tendency to be selfish with the self-pity but we're not alone in this...we're not the only one with broken hearts. We need to be there for each other, not just constantly leaning for support. We have to be supportive as well. And we have the strength to do it.


Just a girl in the south said...

I read your post earlier, and it brought tears to my eyes. It made me think of things that my DH is missing out on (and might if we don't have kids). I am guilty of thinking that he isn't as affected as I am through this, but I know it just affects us differently. Take care!

Leah said...

I read this earlier, and I couldn't respond. Whenever guys come out and show their true feelings, it truly weighs heavy on the heart.


tryingin2007 said...

ugh. the email also made me teary. it's very rare to see DH open up to his true feelings about our IF. I know he feels terrible but I think he likes to appear strong for me. but those days when he does open up, it completely breaks my heart.

gracechild said...

stumbled on your blog & i've been reading through your very insightful entries. Wow!