Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I'm one of "those" girls.

I don't want to GO to the dance, but I want to be INVITED.
Know what I mean? Well, I'll explain...

A VERY good friend of mine at work has a daughter who is due next month (two weeks before my 2nd EDD). She is like a "mom" to me and we know everything about each other's lives. We had gone through the first 9 weeks of my pregnancy comparing notes between myself and her daughter. Then disaster struck and I was no longer PG. But I stil asked for updates and tried as best I could to be supportive of my friend, the grandmother-to-be.

I just found out that she's having the baby shower this weekend. And I wasn't invited. Which I could normally understand since I'm a 'work friend', but the other ladies I work with are invited. And my feelings are hurt. Now I can only assume that it's becuase of the losses I had this year and my friend doesn't want to upset me by inviting me. But shouldn't that be my decision on whether or not I can handle going to a baby shower? And like I said, I don't actually want to go (I'd be so upset) but I want to be invited.

Am I totally nuts for thinking this way? I kind of don't think so. She is close enough a friend that she could have talked to me about it and asked how comfortable I would be going. Then I could be totally honest with her and decline, but still send a gift for her daughter. I'm just sad. And I know the other women who are going are all talking about how exciting it will be (their whispers are pretty loud) and then get quiet when I walk over, leading to everyone's discomfort.

I just hate this stuff.

I hate how IF and RPL has affected my life to the point where I can't go about the normal exciting things in my family/friends' lives.


Anonymous said...

You are right - you should have been given the opportunity to decline and not just assume that you would or wouldn't go. Plan something fun for yourself - a spa day or a walk in the park. God Bless you.

Katie said...

I'm sorry Maria. Sending you big hugs.I wrote today about being the last kid picked for dodgeball. We have to warm the bench while everyone else lives their lives. People treat us like we are broken and can't handle anything on our own. Thinking about you!

Tracy said...

I'm sorry, Maria. You should have been invited and given the opportunity to decline. At least then you wouldn't feel like an outsider with your coworkers.
Not only do I wish you could go to the dance, but I wish you were the queen of the ball. Complete with a tiara and a sash proclaiming your awesomeness.

((big hugs))

Tracy said...
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tryingin2007 said...

that's really not right. I'm sorry. I think you should go shopping the day of the shower and buy something a little unexpected. maybe a piece of jewelry. be good to yourself.