Friday, May 2, 2008

The Screen Door

My FET was yesterday and everything was perfect. We put back two little embabies and I'm hoping they're getting ready to snuggle in for the long haul. Thank you all so much for your great well wishes. Ariella, thank you for your comment, that was so sweet of you.

I posed a while ago about feeling stuck in the dark hallway with the doors of my dreams slamming in my face. Well, this is point in my cycle where I feel those solid doors are now screened doors. I can see inside those worlds I want to be part of, but yet I'm still in the hallway. The screens let in some light and give me a lot of hope, but I'm still waiting for the door to open. Thank you all so much for being in my hallway with me. Some of you visit me daily and we keep each other company. I couldn't have gotten to this place of hope without you great women and your constant prayers and good thoughs.

So now there is nothing I can do but wait through the rest of my 2ww.

And take my injections.

My newest one is Lovenox. And while it's a tiny sub-q injection, it stings like a mother fukcer. It's like I'm injecting acid directly into my belly. I just keep saying to myself that's it's all worth it and hopefully this will help me sustain a pregnancy. Hopefully. I'm also continuing my PIO and started my Femtrace (estrogen) today. With all of these hormones and drugs pumping in me I should probably go away on vacation so I don't become psycho with Ed. LOL.

And my SIL just told me this morning she had m/c #3 confirmed yesterday. I've posted about her before and I chalk it up to her totally irresponsible GYN who had her stop her P4 at 10 dpo before testing her beta. But whatever, it's not my life/body and I can't make her do anything, no matter how much I try. So it seems like she'll be starting Clomid - unmonitored - this cycle so all I can do is pray it works for her and that her dr is then on the ball to help her stay PG.

I guess that is it for my updates. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!


Newt said...

Go little embabies!

I accidentally misread "psycho" as "psychic," and wondered briefly if all the hormones would give you a big boost of feminine intuition or something. But I guess they just make you moody, huh? :)

The Lovenox sounds awful. Take care, and I'll be hoping like crazy that the door opens this time and stays that way!

Katie said...

Dig little babies!!
I'm glad your doors have turned to screen. I've enjoyed our time in the hallway together, but I'm ready for you to move through the door.

Please remember to send me mail though. My hallway door has a mail slot :)

Diana said...

Snuggle in little embabies!!!!

Jill said...

I hope those two little embabies snuggle in for a long nine months ahead! Good luck!

Ariella said...

Grow little embies GROW! Settle in tight and for the long hall.

Emily said...

Everything crossed for you and hoping your door is opening...