Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Ho hum.

Now is the all-too-familiar part of my cycle where I start to get depressed. If my embabies were going to implant, they would have done so by now. And I have no idea if they're still with me or not. I want so badly to stay hopeful and still rub my belly and talk to my little ones in there, but then I think that I don't want to get too attached for fear that in a few days I'll get a BFN.

I will be 13dpo on Mother's Day (my Dad's birthday) and I would so love to test that morning; but what if it's negative? Then I'll ruin an already hard day for me. And Ed's birthday is the day after and I think the same about testing that day. I wouldn't want to ruin his birthday either.

I just can't get out of this depressing funk these past few days. I know this is our last chance and these may be the last couple of days that I have any hope that a baby is actually starting to grow inside me. And I just don't think it is. I don't feel anything. No twinges. No soreness.

Nothing.

5 comments:

K & J said...

OH, I hope that you do get a BFP. It would be hard to test on mothers day, I completely understand. I think that I am getting my hopes up by telling myself that if I am pregnant, I am 2 weeks and 5 days (I am 5dpo right now). Best wishes to you!!

Newt said...

Oh, the 2WW sucks so bad. I so hope you've just got some ninja stealth embryos in there, and they're implanting in secret. I don't know how to solve the testing dilemma, but I hope it's good news, whenever you pee (Saturday? Saturday is good for me!)

Diana said...

Oh sweetie, hugs to you. The last part of this wait is so very hard. It's so scary to be optimistic. All I can say is that I hope the time to your beta flies by and you get your BFP!

Ariella said...

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Embies:
Sunggle in,snuggle in tight.

Emily said...

Everything crossed for you! Hoping it is the very best weekend for you, full of the very best news all around!