Still trucking along...

Today has been very blah for me. I do have to say that my bloating is going away quite nicely (just as my nurse told me it would), as well as my major cramping. This IVF cycle has been so different from the last. And I’m hoping that ‘different’ translates to ‘BFP’. LOL.

I went this morning for my b/w to make sure my hormone levels are in check. I didn’t hear from my nurse so I guess all is well and I’ll continue on my current dosages.

I want to change the name of PIO shots (progesterone in oil) to PIA (pain in the arse) shots. My backside is bruised and sore. The pain even woke me up in the middle of the night last night when I rolled onto my side. As if we IVF’ers don’t have enough going on, why not toss in a little PIA for us! Sure, we can handle it!!!!

Over the weekend I found out DH’s (unmarried) cousin is 12-weeks PG. I somehow rationalize the whole thing by saying that she’s 37 and is running out of time to conceive naturally, so good for her. It was actually planned and she was beaming with excitement so I’m happy for her. Sad for me though. I wish I could just be happy for someone unconditionally without having to rationalize in my head why it’s ok that she’s PG and I’m not (not yet anyway!). I did find out that one of my co-workers got a BFN this weekend. Once again I turn into my evil-hormone-crazed-self and delight in the fact that someone else has not gotten a BFP before me. She has only been trying for 7 months so she’s got to put in more time in order for me to give her sympathy (I blame this kind of talk on the hormones. They make me EVIL). A fellow TTTC’er once said that she first reads someone’s BFP story before posting her “congrats”. If she’s undergone treatments for infertility then she’s part of The Club. If not, to heck with her. I swear that sounds totally sane to me…remember this is the evil-hormone-crazed-me talking here. I am usually a very sweet and happy person. Infertility does crazy things to one’s mind (and body).

Anywho…

I’m going to POAS in three days so I’m keeping my hopes up the best I can. Good things come in threes right? Well, this cousin was #2 (DH’s other cousin was #1) and so I should be lucky #3 to get PG this year. Yup, that’s my plan and I’m sticking to it.

Another good thing is that I’m going to test while on vacation with my family so I will have my DH, Mom, and SIL all there to either lend me support or freak out with excitement (hoping for the latter!!!). That will be so much better than my last IVF where I was sitting at my desk when I received the call from my RE. I just couldn’t handle that again so I am a little more at ease knowing that I won’t be in my office when I get the call. I’ll be sitting on a beach with my toes in the sand, happy as a clam. If I get bad news, I’ll be a few steps from the blender and I’ll drown myself in banana daiquiris.