I'm embarking on a very big decision and I would like you all to weigh in. I am considering donating my eggs. Ed and I have just starting talking about it and we've come up with our own list of pros and cons. But I would really like to hear what you have to say about it. Please be totally honest and feel free to play devil's advocate. Just don't be cruel as we wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Thanks ladies!!!
Just to clarify after Katie's comment...we don't have any frozen snowbabies left (as many of you know) so I would do a fresh IVF cycle up to the egg retrieval (if that makes any difference in your comments).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Perfect Day
My first Mother's Day was perfect. Ed got up early with EJ so I could sleep in as long as I wanted. Then we had a leisurely breakfast of danish and I got my first Mother's Day gift -- gorgeous diamond earrings. I'm so excited I got something that I'll be able to keep forever to remind me of this very special day. I would have hated to have to throw out flowers in a week and have no keepsake of the day.
We then had a late brunch with my family, which was outstanding. Then we went to Ed's sister's house for an early dinner with his family.
My Mom's Mother's Day gift to me was tickets to go with her to see Il Divo last night. I saw them with her when they toured with Barbra Streisand, but this was their own tour. Two glorious hours with these heavenly men. Click here if you don't know who they are. I just want to put Sebastien in my pocket and carry him around with me forever. He melts my heart!
I came home late last night to find Ed, EJ and Jimmy all snuggled on the couch waiting for me to get home and go to bed. I love my three guys more than anything and I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family on this very special first Mother's Day.
I almost forgot, the grand finale of their concert last night was "The Impossible Dream". I got all teary when I thought that EJ was my "Impossible Dream" for three years. For those of you who know the song, you know why it made think of all of you wonderful ladies. For those of you who don't know it, here are the lyrics...
To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause
And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star
We then had a late brunch with my family, which was outstanding. Then we went to Ed's sister's house for an early dinner with his family.
My Mom's Mother's Day gift to me was tickets to go with her to see Il Divo last night. I saw them with her when they toured with Barbra Streisand, but this was their own tour. Two glorious hours with these heavenly men. Click here if you don't know who they are. I just want to put Sebastien in my pocket and carry him around with me forever. He melts my heart!
I came home late last night to find Ed, EJ and Jimmy all snuggled on the couch waiting for me to get home and go to bed. I love my three guys more than anything and I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family on this very special first Mother's Day.
I almost forgot, the grand finale of their concert last night was "The Impossible Dream". I got all teary when I thought that EJ was my "Impossible Dream" for three years. For those of you who know the song, you know why it made think of all of you wonderful ladies. For those of you who don't know it, here are the lyrics...
To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause
And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mommy's Day to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there :)
This is the first Mother's Day since 2005 that I've woken up with a smile on my face.
Hugs and love to all of you still on your journey to be mothers...I'm praying you'll all be celebrating this special day next year!
P.S. I'm going to see Il Divo tonight!!!!!!!
This is the first Mother's Day since 2005 that I've woken up with a smile on my face.
Hugs and love to all of you still on your journey to be mothers...I'm praying you'll all be celebrating this special day next year!
P.S. I'm going to see Il Divo tonight!!!!!!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
4-month check-up
First, thanks to k@ourboxofrain who commented on my last post about sleep regression. That makes total sense!
My little baby is getting so big...13 lbs 4 oz!!!!
His check-up went great and he was so brave for his shots. He's now starting on solid food, with rice cereal coming first. We did the cereal last night and he LOVED it. LOVED it I tell you. He didn't miss a single little drop. And I credit the cereal for getting him to sleep well last night. I feel very well rested today and he woke up in a great mood.
The only thing we need to work on is getting him to turn his head to the left. He favors the right side so we need to stretch his neck a bit to get the left side as limber as the right. He's holding his head up perfectly now so we're hoping that issue will go away by next month's appt.
My little baby is getting so big...13 lbs 4 oz!!!!
His check-up went great and he was so brave for his shots. He's now starting on solid food, with rice cereal coming first. We did the cereal last night and he LOVED it. LOVED it I tell you. He didn't miss a single little drop. And I credit the cereal for getting him to sleep well last night. I feel very well rested today and he woke up in a great mood.
The only thing we need to work on is getting him to turn his head to the left. He favors the right side so we need to stretch his neck a bit to get the left side as limber as the right. He's holding his head up perfectly now so we're hoping that issue will go away by next month's appt.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The good old days.
These were the days when EJ would sleep anywhere from 7 to 9 hours every night. He'd sleep happily in his cradle and wake with a little stirring and I'd have time to get his bottle ready before he actually woke and started to cry.
Those days are gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Now he has reverted back to waking every three hours, quite loudly I might add, and he never really goes back into a deep sleep. He jolts his eyes open every time I lay him down in his cradle so we're back to co-sleeping just so I can get any sleep possible when he dozes off.
What's the sudden change you might ask? We believe it's teething. While it does seem a bit before the normal 6-month mark (he's just 4 months old) it's not unheard of. He's drooling & blowing bubbles quite a bit and he will gnaw on everything his tiny hands can shove in his mouth. He's doing a bit of "grumbling" and just seems uncomfy when he would normally just chill and hang out in his jumperoo. We have his 4-month pedi appt tomorrow so hopefully she'll be able to shed some light on this. Maybe it's teething, but maybe he's just going through a rough phase.
At any rate, he still makes me smile whenever he smiles at me and I would do anything for him to make him happy :)
Those days are gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Now he has reverted back to waking every three hours, quite loudly I might add, and he never really goes back into a deep sleep. He jolts his eyes open every time I lay him down in his cradle so we're back to co-sleeping just so I can get any sleep possible when he dozes off.
What's the sudden change you might ask? We believe it's teething. While it does seem a bit before the normal 6-month mark (he's just 4 months old) it's not unheard of. He's drooling & blowing bubbles quite a bit and he will gnaw on everything his tiny hands can shove in his mouth. He's doing a bit of "grumbling" and just seems uncomfy when he would normally just chill and hang out in his jumperoo. We have his 4-month pedi appt tomorrow so hopefully she'll be able to shed some light on this. Maybe it's teething, but maybe he's just going through a rough phase.
At any rate, he still makes me smile whenever he smiles at me and I would do anything for him to make him happy :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Anniversaries
May 1st evokes a mixture of emotions out of me.
May 1, 2008 was EDD #2 for me (out of 4 total). That pregnancy ended with no heartbeat at 8w4d. That EDD was burned in my brain for I thought that there was no possible way I could have two miscarriages in a row. I mean, what are the odds of that?? I soon learned that they were slim, but still existent and I fell into that small group of women. Little did I know then that I would be part of the even smaller group of women who would have to endure three miscarriages.
May 1, 2008 was also the date of FET #2. It was the last two of our snowbabies and we knew it was the last try at IVF since we had no more insurance money left for a fresh cycle. All of my eggs were literally in one basket and I felt my every life's happiness was riding on that FET. It was a very scary day. And I felt it was kind of doomed from the beginning since it held the horrible memory of being EDD #2.
Well, for all of you who have been following my story, you know that FET worked and I now have a wonderful little guy, EJ, who is four months old today :) And for as happy as I am, May 1st will always be burned in my brain as one of my EDD and I will always remember that this was the date that EJ began his own life's journey by burrowing in with a Mommy who loved him so much even though he was just a few small cells.
I pray that all of you still on the TTC journey don't have any more "bad anniversaries" and know that while it does get easier over time, you may never forget. And that's ok. There is no rule that you can only feel one emotion at a time. It will help you appreciate and love your little bundle of joy even more than you ever thought possible.
May 1, 2008 was EDD #2 for me (out of 4 total). That pregnancy ended with no heartbeat at 8w4d. That EDD was burned in my brain for I thought that there was no possible way I could have two miscarriages in a row. I mean, what are the odds of that?? I soon learned that they were slim, but still existent and I fell into that small group of women. Little did I know then that I would be part of the even smaller group of women who would have to endure three miscarriages.
May 1, 2008 was also the date of FET #2. It was the last two of our snowbabies and we knew it was the last try at IVF since we had no more insurance money left for a fresh cycle. All of my eggs were literally in one basket and I felt my every life's happiness was riding on that FET. It was a very scary day. And I felt it was kind of doomed from the beginning since it held the horrible memory of being EDD #2.
Well, for all of you who have been following my story, you know that FET worked and I now have a wonderful little guy, EJ, who is four months old today :) And for as happy as I am, May 1st will always be burned in my brain as one of my EDD and I will always remember that this was the date that EJ began his own life's journey by burrowing in with a Mommy who loved him so much even though he was just a few small cells.
I pray that all of you still on the TTC journey don't have any more "bad anniversaries" and know that while it does get easier over time, you may never forget. And that's ok. There is no rule that you can only feel one emotion at a time. It will help you appreciate and love your little bundle of joy even more than you ever thought possible.
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