Putting the wheels in motion. Maybe.

I'm sure this post will rub some of you the wrong way as you're still hoping and praying for your first miracle. And for that I get it if you have nothing good to say to me right now. Really, I understand.

EJ is now past the year mark and we're starting to think about if/when we want to have another child. We couldn't afford another IVF (and we don't have any snowbabies left) but we are considering IUI's. I'm still not totally positive I'm ready to go through that again, and the possible loss that might follow a BFP...I am a "habitual aborter" after all. We haven't used any form of contraception in the past year, so here I am again finding myself the living definition of infertility...12 consecutive months of TTC without a BFP. Yup, I'm still broken.

I have heard COUNTLESS times in the past year of so-and-so who did IVF for their first child, or adopted, and then suddenly got PG on their own. I know we've all heard that over and over again. And it still irks me. I don't think I'm as bitter as I was before EJ, but to be honest it still makes me twitch when I hear "just relax and it will happen".

So in a nutshell I guess I'm just playing tug-of-war with myself. Some days I think we should go for it, and other days I think I must be crazy for wanting to put myself through that again (and so soon). If there is anyone out there who has thoughts on this, hypothetical or practical, please share them.

Birthday Boy!

Since EJ was getting over being sick on his actual bday, we pushed his party to the following weekend. He wasn't a huge fan of his chocolate cake on the 1st, so we did a birthday corn muffin for his party...which he licked up every little crumb!

He was spoiled with gifts and lots of love :)

Here are pictures from his actual birthday and his party.

Christmas Pictures

Here are some pictures from EJ's first Christmas morning and some other random cuteness ;)

EJ looooves to read...


EJ's favorite gift was the shower back-scrubber I got Ed...







EJ found Jimmy's doggie door...

EJ and Daddy sound asleep...

A Year in the Life

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY EJ!!!!!
You are the most wonderful thing that has happened to us. We love you more each day and we're so lucky and proud to have you as our son! Love, Mommy & Daddy xoxox

One of my favorite songs from the musical "Rent" inspired this post...

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life!

How would I measure the past year?
5000+ baby wipes used
2200 diaper changes
2200 bottles/meals prepared
1500 hours spent rocking my baby
1000+ outfit changes
365 midnight feedings
185 3am feedings
100+ loads of laundry
50 canisters of formula
40 boxes of diapers
2 vacations this year...1 to TX and 1 to NC
1 moment frozen in time when he said "Ma!" for the first time
Countless smiles and giggles that melt my heart daily :)

This has been the best year of my life. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for EJ and us as a family. It's hard to say it, but I don't have a "baby" anymore...I have a "toddler". There is a whole world out there waiting for EJ to explore and it's going to be so exciting to see it all through his eyes.