It's been a while...

I can't believe I haven't posted in this blog in over a year. There was a time when I think I posted (almost) daily. Where to begin???
First off, we're all doing well :) EJ is now 4 and a half and the twins (Jacob & Jillian) turned two in May. They're getting so big!! Being a SAHM is not as easy as I thought it would be. It's exhausting. It's constant. It's noisy. And I love it all. It's the best job I've ever had and can't fathom there will be a time when I don't get to spend every day with my munchkins. I love watching each step my kids take towards growing up. I'm so blessed. Our family is complete, and I feel complete in it. It hasn't all been rainbows and flowers. We have certainly had our days of struggle. Things are not always perfect between me and my DH, but we strive to be great parents and great partners to each other. As the kids gain more independence, I find I have more time for myself. I have been able to reestablish some of my interests, outside of the kids. As a whole, that has really helped me become a better mom. When I have time to step away from them, it makes me miss and appreciate them when I return home, or when they return to me from two quick hours at preschool. So many of the wounds have IF have healed, but I still roll my eyes when I hear of friends/family who conceive their first month trying. Why does that still sting??!! LOL But my struggles and the knowledge I have gained from it all have certainly helped other family/friends to find their way through IF. It's still a very taboo subject that many keep hidden, but I'm happy for those who have come out from hiding to ask for help or suggestions. I believe it was a few months ago that the pioneer for IVF passed away. As I read the article, my eyes filled with tears as I know that had it not been for this man, I would not have my three precious IVF miracles. **Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end.**

The Twins Turn One! (And Daddy turns 38)

I know we all say how quickly time flies, but I really can't believe how fast this past year went. My twinfants have turned into toddlers! I have yet to come up with a cute name for them now, and "twoddlers" just sounds icky to me. LOL.

Jillian and Jacob are wonderful! She has been walking for about a month and Jake is content just crawling around. They have amazing appetites, which is a huge difference from EJ who eats like a bird. Jilly is a sassy little girl who adores her Daddy. Jake is a funny guy who favors me. Although, I think he would pick my Dad over me any day. They have a great bond and I really think Jake is my Dad's favorite :) Jake has a great sense of humor and is so pleasant all of the time. After the high energy of EJ and Jilly, we really appreciate how laid-back Jake is! EJ is wonderful with them. He really favors Jilly over Jake, but he is kind to both of them. Most of the time is good, but he still yells when they take his toys, It's been a great learning experience for him on how to share and how to ask us for help instead of just pushing them down...which they all seem to find hilarious and get hysterically laughing. And that, of course, encourages him to do it even more. Go figure. We're looking forward to spending time with our extended family this summer. My brother's twins are 6 months old now and their personalities are starting to shine. I love that age when you can see a little person emerging through the baby-ness. My other brother's kids are 12 and 9 and they are EJ's favorite people in the whole world. I can't wait to go on vacation with all of them at the end of the summer, and I know EJ will be in his glory living with those kids for a whole week. And I will love the extra hands helping out! I feel like I should write more to update, but I'm at a loss. There is so much going on in my daily life I can barely sort through it in my mind. We're kind of on autopilot and our biggest lifesaver is our routine. I'm good as long as we're all following our schedule. But the minute someone veers off, it gets very loud and chaotic here! There are times when I miss the peace and quiet of life before kids, but I would never go back there. There is no sound as sweet as EJ calling me Mommy, no giggle as cute as Jake's, and no smile as contagious as Jilly's :)

Happy Everything

The holidays are quickly approaching and I just can't believe 2011 is almost over. I can't believe my little man will be 3 on New Year's Day, and I can't believe my twins are almost 7 months old. Time has flown faster than I have ever known before. We are all adjusting to our new life as a family of five, and I'm adjusting to living that life with minimal sleep and the new dark circles under my eyes.

Not that I keep up with posts on this blog, but I think I'm going to take a semi-permanent break from it. I'm sure I have some stragglers who check in on me once in a while, so I may post some random stuff every now and then. But for the most part I will not post that much. I literally don't have enough time in a day to get the stuff done that I need to, let alone have the luxury of sitting down to my computer to type in a sane manner. LOL. I still read other blogs so you just may get a comment from me on occasion, especially those with BIG things happening in their lives right now :)

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza, and a very happy and healthy New Year!! Hugs and Love xoxo

My Snowbabies

I knew this day would come sooner or later. The day when we have to decide what to do with our three remaining snowbabies. We have a few options: destroy them, donate them to science, donate them to a needing couple, keep them frozen.

We're not going to just keep them frozen. There are a few reasons for that...we do not want any more children. Three is enough for us. Plus, I cannot imagine going through another pregnancy with three kids already. I don't do pregnancy very well. I'm sure some of you remember how awful my morning sickness was.

So we can either donate them to one of two options, or destroy them. If you would have asked me before I ever had a child I would have said immediately that I'd donate them to another needing couple. I'm having a hard time with that decision right now. I now know the personalities of three (out of the nearly 50 embryos) children that I gave birth to. I can't imagine one of my little ones out there in the world without me to love and protect him/her. I certainly know they could end up with a family that loves them equally as much, but what if they don't?? What if someone causes them harm? A day wouldn't go by without me thinking about them and worrying where they are and who they have become. I would love to hear your opinions on this as we need to make our decision soon and I'm still torn as to what the best decision is for us.

A glimpse of our summer

It's been quite some time since I posted last so I thought I should write a little update. In most recent news, we had the twins baptized two weekends ago. It was just my family at the Baptism, so it was very personal. Another good thing about it being just my family was that I wasn't too embarrassed when EJ started running around (he literally ran around the entire church...like ten times...screaming and having a ball). My brother and his wife are godparents to Jillian; Ed's sister and her husband are godparents to Jacob. My other brother and his wife are EJ's godparents so they were there as well, along with our parents. It was the day after Hurricane Irene so a lot of our family and friends couldn't make it to the party, but that just meant more cake for me :) Here we are...I'm holding EJ with his t-rex c.rocs on...

The rest of our summer has been pretty good. With the help of my parents and SIL we get through each day and everyone gets dressed and fed. LOL. EJ spent a lot of time swimming, which he loves, and hanging out with his favorite cousins. Jillian is sleeping between 8-10 hours every night. Jake usually wakes once or twice, but I'm still able to feel well-rested most mornings. My days are busy. VERY busy. My weeks fly by and I wish it would all slow down a bit. I'm eager to get to the STTN phase for both twins, but at the same time I don't want to rush things too much. EJ starts "pre-school" next week. It's just two hours one day a week, but I think it will be good for him. I can't wait to see all the wonderful artwork he brings home to hang on the fridge. Hopefully it won't be another 3 months before I update again :D

Sleep (or lack of)

Haven't had much of it lately. At least not more than 30 minutes at a time.
Desperately need some. My eyes have never been so droopy.
Just an hour to two of solid sleep would do me a world of good.
Can't seem to put two thoughts together or concentrate on anything. I must seem like a space cadet to anyone talking to me.

We're all doing ok!!

There hasn't been as much sleep as I'd like, but we're all hanging in there :) The twins are great eaters, and pretty good sleepers. However, they're not totally on the same schedule so we're awake often through the night nursing/giving bottles. I don't feel as exhausted as I did with EJ; I guess I've gotten used to running on limited sleep. I really don't know how well we would have handled having the twins before our singleton, so I'm glad it worked out the way it did with them coming after EJ.

Someone asked me if either Jake or Jillian has their Daddy's eyes (in regards to the title of this blog)...well, without a doubt Jillian does. It's so neat to look at them looking at each other with the exact same shape of eyes. It will be interesting to see in a few months if she has the same color as he has too.

I wish I had more time to take pictures, but I snap one whenever I can with my cell phone. Here's one with Jake on the left and Jillian on the right. Oh, and we've taken to calling her "Jilly" which really seems to make EJ giggle :)